No Rest for the Wicked
by afjordable
Summary: Alex has been distant, and Meredith is determined to find out why. Merlex.
1. Chapter 1

_Note: This chapter takes place about a week after Season 13, Episode 15 (Civil War). If you haven't seen that episode, I would recommend watching it before reading this story because it provides some useful context, especially for this first chapter. The next few chapters will be more or less parallel to the rest of the episodes of the season._

 _Also, I would like to give you fair warning: this story has a romantic plot between Meredith and Alex. I know a lot of people don't like that ship, but I thought it would be fun to write especially now that it is being implied in the show more and more. If you don't like the idea of Merlex, then simply don't read this story. If you do chose to read on, then I hope you enjoy! Thank you!_

 _The title of each chapter is the name of a song, like the episode names for Grey's. This one is No Rest for the Wicked by Lykke Li._

* * *

 _No Rest for the Wicked_

Meredith woke up slowly, just minutes before their alarm was due to go off. The earliest morning light was peaking through the shades, illuminating her half of the bed. She had slept well, almost too well, so her muscles were pleasantly stiff and begging to be stretched. With a lazy sigh, she rolled her head to the right to see if Alex was awake yet.

He was lying on his back, hands folded on his chest. His eyes we trained on the ceiling fan, flicking back and forth to keep up with the movement. Meredith could see immediately that he was deep in thought and had probably been awake all night. She reached out her hand and brushed his arm.

Alex jumped and shifted his eyes to meet hers. "Morning," she murmured, her voice still thick with sleep.

"Hey. Morning." His voice was rough and unused.

"You didn't sleep?"

"I couldn't."

Meredith nodded before finally moving to stretch with a satisfied groan. "What, the bed isn't comfortable enough for you?" She could feel him looking at her.

"No. It's definitely not that. Its just…" he trailed off and turned his gaze back to the fan.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What, is it Jo? DeLuca? Did Riggs say something else to you?"

He scoffed. "Riggs is an asshole. Anyway, he's too busy trying to get into your pants to continue undermining me."

She rolled her eyes, knowing that even if he didn't see it, he could sense it. They both knew that the incident with the Norwood-transplant debate was still bothering him, but it seemed like neither of them knew why. It had already been a week, and each day there was a version of this conversation. He was clearly battling _something_ , it was about time she figured out what it was. "This _is_ about Riggs."

He rolled over, pulling the covers with him, and abruptly stood. "I'm getting coffee. I can't handle being psychoanalyzed without coffee." He pulled an old t-shirt over his head and headed for the hallway.

"Well, you better start drinking, because this isn't over!" she called after him.

They were silent over breakfast, even as Zola, Ellis, and Bailey cheerfully ate their pancakes. Finally, after what seemed like an hour but was actually fifteen minutes, the kids left to get dressed for school.

Meredith left a minute of silence before she forced Alex to make eye contact with her.

"He was right, you know. I mean, he shouldn't have hidden the UNOS request from you, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't a solid call. It wasn't likely, but it saved the kid." Meredith scooped up slices of apples and dumped them in a zipped bag and added it to Bailey's lunchbox.

Alex leaned heavily on the counter. "Yeah, whatever. I still think he's a snake."

"Uh-huh," she murmured, sipping her coffee. He had said that word so many times that it no longer held any meaning.

"Who scares parents like that? I know what I'm talking about. I work with babies like that all the time. He could have went with it, and Gus would still have made a full recovery."

"But that isn't what happened," Meredith responded as she double-checked her kid's lunches. "Why are you suddenly acting like Old Alex again?"

"I don't know. The more I see him, the less I like him. He just rubs me the wrong way."

"Right. Well," She paused to rinse her hands. "I guess now would be a bad time to tell you that I've agreed to get drinks with him."

Alex's eyebrows shot up. "Drinks? I tell you that the guy is no good, and you are going out for drinks with him?"

"Look, I defended you, but I'm kind of having trouble seeing what your problem is. I want to, I don't know, maybe try having something with him, and it would be really great if my person didn't spend his entire day being angry about it."

"I told you, I don't like –"

"Alex."

"What?"

"Why don't you like him? Really, honestly. Why?"

He grumbled moodily and sloshed his coffee around in his cup. After a moment, he stood and dumped it in the sink dismissively. "Whatever. I need to shower."

"Alex!"

"I'll see you at work."

* * *

Meredith poked at her food with her fork, but couldn't bring herself to eat anything. "He's just been off ever since we got back to work. And not normal, off. I was expecting it to be a little weird with the whole DeLuca and Wilson thing and the Minnick fiasco, but he's just been… weird!"

Maggie's forehead folded in concern. If there was one thing Maggie was good at, it was concern. "Do you think he's feeling left behind? A lot has happened."

"Maybe, but I don't know. That's not really it. He's been defensive and judge-y."

"That sounds about right to me."

"No, but this is like _Old Alex_. I know you didn't know him when he was like that. It was when he was closed off from me and tried to be tough and intimidating. Something is freaking him out. Something big."

"Well, maybe it's just coming back to the job after a while, and people not trusting him as much. I could see how that would make him Old Alex-y."

"He won't even talk to me about it. I even tried to talk to Riggs about backing off but Alex just isn't Alex."

"When did the Alex and Nathan thing start? I was so surprised when Alex called me in to be their counselor, or whatever. I don't remember a time when Alex didn't solve his issues himself. I mean – did Nathan do anything?"

Meredith coughed, "Well, as far as I know, Alex has only really interacted with him in surgery, and this is the first time they've has a disagreement." _Aside from that, all that Alex knows or cares to know about Nathan is that I fucked him in a parking lot and ever since I've been trying to avoid him because I know you, sweet, sensitive Maggie, like him. Oh, and now I'm getting drinks with Nathan tonight._

"Hmm… maybe he just needs some time to get back into the rhythm of being back at work." Maggie took another bite of her salad, big brown eyes blinking reassuringly. Then, her eyes looked over Meredith's shoulder. "Oh, head's up."

A moment later, a lunch tray landed next to Meredith's elbow. Alex's mountain of food tilted precariously. He gruffly sat in the chair and looked at the two of them, eyebrows lowered in suspicion. "What?"

"Tough day?" Maggie quipped.

"Yeah. I gotta kid with pyloric stenosis and Bennett seems to think I'm wrong. He actually said, 'you've been known to make snap decisions. Let me run some more tests.' Dude, I've seen so many of these cases. The symptoms are all there, and the scans were pretty freakin' clear. But the guy still acts like I never got a medical degree and that I wasn't his freakin' boss just a couple of months ago."

Maggie shot Meredith a look that clearly said 'I told you so.'

"So what's the problem? You are still Bennett's superior. He can run all the tests he wants, but if your diagnosis is right, and I'm sure it is, it's your call."

"It's a waste of time, and meanwhile the kid is starving and in pain and needs surgery! You know that it's crap. And anyway, _you're_ just happy because you're getting laid tonight."

Maggie immediately tuned in to the gossip. "You're getting laid? Who? When did this happen?"

Meredith glared at Alex. He knew very well that she didn't want to tell Maggie about the whole Nathan thing until she was sure. She knew he was just using it as an excuse to divert attention away from his issues. "Just some guy I met. I don't know if I'm going to sleep with him anyway."

"Just some guy? Meredith! This is a big deal."

Alex scoffed, "You're going to sleep with him. You shaved your legs. You are definitely getting laid."

"How do you even know I shaved my legs?"

"Mer. We share a bathroom and I don't use a woman's razor." He took a huge bite of his sandwich.

She rolled her eyes at him. He was right, but he was still being Old Alex-y.

Maggie could sense that Meredith was getting increasingly less patient with Alex. She cleared her throat in an attempt to relieve some of the tension. "So, where'd you meet him?"

Meredith never broke her glaring contest with Alex. "Oh, um, it was when I was on leave."

Maggie cooed, "Well, what's he like?" but Meredith couldn't concentrate on lying about her date when Alex was being so strange. It was time to stop tiptoeing around his feelings.

"What the hell is bothering you? And don't say 'I don't know' or 'Riggs' anything, because it's something else and you know it."

His eyes sparked with something like sadness. "Do I really need to tell you? Really? You can't see it?"

She immediately went from furious to weak. She really didn't see it. "Alex –"

"Whatever, Mer. Enjoy your _date_." And with that, he picked up his tray and left.

Meredith and Maggie watched him walk away in stunned silence. Maggie swallowed. "Wow, there really is something wrong."

* * *

The rest of the day, everything was wrong. Meredith couldn't focus the way she wanted to. Everything just seemed to remind her of what Alex had said. She was his person, and she was blind to whatever was bothering him. She couldn't think of anything that would have shaken him this much. He had been fine just a week before. He was tired from the legal battle and the Jo stuff, but he was dealing with it just as Alex had always dealt with everything. Now, he was sinking and she needed to find a way to help.

She decided to take her paperwork home to finish. The hospital was too distracting, and this way she would be more likely to catch Alex and try to start understanding what was happening.

Just before she left for the evening, she tracked down Nathan. He was at a nurse's station, signed charts and giving a resident instructions for an overnight follow up for one of his patients. He saw her over the resident's shoulder and winked.

She waited for him to finish, stuffing her fists into her favorite jeans, the jeans she knew made her butt look good. The jeans she wore specifically for her date with Nathan. He sent the resident on her way and turned to smile at her. Her stomach twisted uncomfortably.

"Hey. So are we still good for drinks? I just need to change and I'll be good to go."

"Actually, I really need to reschedule."

His rakish grin faltered. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, sort of. It's just that there's something up with Alex and I need to be with him tonight."

Nathan's gaze darkened a shade. "Right. Karev."

"I'm not saying no to any drinks ever, but I need it to not be tonight."

"Uh-huh."

"He's my –'

"I know. He's your person."

Something about the way her said it put Meredith on edge. "Listen –"

"No, it's fine. I get it. You spent months avoiding a date with me, and when you finally convince yourself that it might be worth it, you immediately let Karev talk you out of it."

Meredith felt her goodwill toward Nathan – Riggs – drain away. She quickly put her defenses up and started to make a retort, which he quickly spoke over.

"Meredith, let me make this easy for you. _I'm_ cancelling. Not because I want to, but because I know that no matter what, Karev will always come first for you." With that, Riggs spun on his heal and marched out of the cardio wing, leaving Meredith stunned behind him.

Within a few minutes, Meredith was driving home with a stack of paperwork in her passengers seat and thinking about The Great Date Rescheduling Train Wreck. She knew that Riggs said that he wasn't going to wait around for her forever, but she hadn't thought that she was so close to pushing him away. She had already decided that it was probably good that it had happened this way, instead of later, but nevertheless she felt the old insecurities from her twenties rise up. Bad things happen to her. She was incapable of love and commitment. If it wasn't Derek, it couldn't be anyone. As much as she wanted to be righteously angry about Riggs acting like an asshole, she knew that it was partially because she pushed it too far.

She made it home quickly. When the front door closed behind her, she allowed herself to sigh in relief. It had been a long day. All she wanted was a glass of wine and sleep, but she knew that she would never be able to until she saw Alex. Whatever was bothering him was starting to eat away at her too, and she wanted to find some way to help.

She walked passed the couch Amelia had repurposed as her bed, which was currently unoccupied except for an old comforter. Hopefully Amelia finally decided to sort her shit out with Owen.

She set her purse down on the kitchen counter and went upstairs to check on the kids. They were sleeping. She hated arriving home late and missing saying goodnight to them. She was always scared that a mysterious something might happen and she would never be able to do it again. They were all dreaming peacefully. Their breaths were deep and even, and the sense of rightness about it calmed her.

She quietly closed the door to Zola's room and made her way downstairs to the kitchen. When she walked through the door, she came face to face with Alex.

The first thing she registered was that he looked exhausted. The dark circles under his eyes, which had been present for the last few months, were darker than ever, and his mouth was curved downward in an unconscious frown. She didn't know what to say.

"You're back early. I thought you had your date?"

She shook her head slowly. "I cancelled. Well, actually, he cancelled. I just tried to reschedule." Meredith tried to communicate everything in her eyes. She didn't know exactly how to say that she was sorry, or felt for him, and wanted only for him to be himself again, but she needed him to know. They stared at each other for a while, but the silence never grew awkward.

After a while, he pulled her into a firm hug, nuzzling his face against her. She could feel his fingers splaying across her back. His breath was hot against her neck. He needed to shave. "I'm sorry. I'm an ass."

She sighed as she ran her fingers through his hair, trying to comfort him. "Yeah, you are. I'm sorry too."

"I'm so tired."

"I am too."

"Good."

* * *

Sunlight filtered through the leaves. Their shadows dappled her skin and the soft grass she was laying on. It was silent and still. The only movement was the gently sway of the branches above her head and her own breathing.

She reached down to smooth her hand over her stomach. The skin was taught and she could feel the little butterfly kicks of their baby underneath her fingers. His hand reached out, interlocking with hers. She turned her head to smile at him, "Derek."

His playful blue eyes hadn't changed. The laugh lines at the corner of his eyes were the same, and his thin, pink lips were just like they were the last time she kissed them. They shaped her name, but she couldn't hear it.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Ellis squealed. She ran toward them, and flopped down beside them in the grass. Her hands were sticky and there were grass stains on her knees. "Look at what me and Bailey made!"

Meredith slowly got to her feet, a hand protectively cupping her pregnant belly. She took Ellis' hand. "Show me."

Ellis tugged her along toward a sandbox that Meredith hadn't noticed before. When they reached the edge, she watched Bailey adding a leaf to the top of a sandcastle. The castle looked remarkably like Grey-Sloan Memorial. "Mommy, where's daddy?"

With a jolt of panic, Meredith realized her husband wasn't by her side like she thought he was. She spun around frantically. _Where is he?_

But he was there, right behind her. His familiar smirk was lighting up his face. "I just went and got Zola from the swings."

Meredith grasped her chest as relief flooded her. Their family was together. It was just them, her kids, her unborn baby, Meredith, and… Alex.

"Alex," she gasped, pulling him into a hug, "I though you were gone. You weren't there." She couldn't hold him close enough. Her stomach was too big.

He ran a hand through her hair. A shiver went down her spine. "Hey, it's okay. I'll never leave you. I'm here. Wake up. Wake up. _Wake up!_ "

She woke up abruptly. Alex was looking at her with concern and a little bit of annoyance. She grabbed at her stomach, but it was flat, empty.

"Mer, are you okay?"

She was disoriented. It took a few moments for her to realize that she wasn't dreaming anymore. "Yeah. Yeah… I'm okay."

He stared at her hands clutching her stomach with concern. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"Not exactly… it was Derek. It was Derek and the kids and –" her voice caught.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

She thought about Dream Alex's arms wrapped around her, tethering her to some serene feeling of safety. She pressed her cheek against Real Alex's shoulder, breathing in the faint smell of sleep and sweat. "No, I'm okay. Let's just go back to sleep."

It only took a few minutes for her to fall back asleep, her hand flat on his chest so that she could feel his heartbeat. This time, she didn't dream at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Everybody Talks**

The next day Meredith woke to an empty bed. Alex was already gone, prepping for an early surgery. She had the vague feeling that she had had a weird dream the night before, something that had been comforting and strange in turns, but she couldn't quite remember what it was. The more she tried, the more the dream faded away.

With a groan, she got up and pulled on her robe. Her clock said it was already 7:30. She could smell breakfast downstairs, so she hoped that there would be some coffee waiting for her.

The kitchen was empty, but on the counter by the coffee maker was a mug, two packets of sugar, and a short note in a familiar scrawl. Her fingers brushed over the indents in the paper left by his pen.

 _Took Z to school and B & E to daycare. There's food in the fridge._

She smiled and poured some coffee, which she quickly doctored with the sugar. In the fridge, she found a plate stacked with scrambled eggs, pancakes, and bacon. This was one of the perks of living with Alex. He was a surprisingly good cook but always made too much food, which balanced well with her complete inability to cook at all.

"Hey," Maggie mumbled as she shuffled into the room, "Coffee?"

"Yeah, there's some left."

"Thank god."

"Alex cooked. Want some?" Meredith gestured at the plate.

Maggie looked relieved. "Yes, please."

They ate in silence and quickly got ready for work, dodging each other in a coordinated routine. Soon, they were driving the familiar route to the hospital.

Maggie, who was now on her second cup of coffee, was now thoroughly caffeinated and talkative. "So, how did your Mystery Date go?"

Meredith scoffed. She had almost forgotten the disastrous conversation she'd had with Riggs. "I tried to reschedule and it didn't exactly go well."

"What? I thought you were excited!"

"I think you were more excited for me than I was."

Maggie pursed her lips. "So, why did you cancel?"

Meredith shifted in her seat and fiddled with the temperature dial. "Alex. You saw how weird he was yesterday."

"Huh."

She knew Maggie well enough the know that 'huh' meant that she had something else to say, and she was going to say it whether Meredith prompted her to or not. She waited for her sister to continue.

"Was he jealous?"

"What?" Meredith asked, genuinely confused about what Maggie was talking about, "Of what?"

"Did you tell him that you were rescheduling so that you could talk to Alex?"

"Uh… yeah."

Maggie nodded sagely and sipped at her thermos. "Mystery Date was jealous."

"Of _Alex_? Alex Karev. We are talking about the same person, right?"

"Yep."

Meredith rolled her eyes and waved her hand vaguely, like she was batting away a fly. "He wasn't jealous."

"I don't know. If a guy canceled on me last minute to hang out with his attractive, single female friend, I would definitely be jealous."

"No way." She hated to admit it, but it would make a strange sort of sense… if it hadn't been Nathan and Alex they were talking about. Unfortunately, Maggie didn't exactly know that Riggs was the mystery date, so Meredith changed tactics. "Anyway, I didn't cancel, I rescheduled, and he knows that Alex is just my friend."

"I'm not saying Mystery Date was right, I'm saying that he was jealous. I kinda get it too. You too are really close, anyone can see that. If I didn't know you guys, I would probably assume you were together."

Meredith heart squeezed. She had overheard this gossip before – interns, nurses, even some patients – but that's all it was. Gossip. It was different hearing Maggie say it. "He's… Alex. He's my person."

"I know," Maggie said softly. "But you know how people are. They like to simplify things they don't understand."

Meredith nodded and sighed. She couldn't tell Maggie this, but this conversation had made her even more irritated with Riggs. He had been around long enough to know that she and Alex had a special bond that was foraged through years of surviving horrible tragedies. Accidents, explosions, shootings, and plane crashes; death, disease, betrayal, and heartbreak; but through it all they had always simply been _friends_. If Riggs didn't get it by now, he never would.

She had been foolish to think that Riggs got it. She thought it had been clear that agreeing to go on any sort of date with him was a huge step for her. She had allowed that vulnerability, at least. _That_ certainly wasn't going to happen again.

Maggie seemed to understand that Meredith was finished talking about "Mystery Date." She cleared her throat. "I have a CABG scheduled today. I'm thinking of asking Thompson to scrub in with me. What do you think? Is she ready?"

"Yes," Meredith answered, grasping at the change of topic. "She's really good. She seems to have a knack for Cardio."

* * *

Meredith was frowning down at one of her charts in concentration as she scrolled through rows of test results. She pushed the tablet to her intern. "I still don't like the look of these numbers. They're borderline. Monitor him. If there are any changes, let me know, especially if his white count jumps." The intern nodded nervously and scurried off. She turned to a stack of paperwork.

"You scare the crap out of them." A familiar figure sidled up beside her and leaned against the counter of the nurse's station.

Without looking up, she murmured, "Hey, what's up?"

"I was right," Alex announced, "It was pyloric stenosis. Bennet ran all of his tests, and they confirmed it. I just got out of surgery and the kid's doing great."

She smiled up at him and gave him a playful nudge with her elbow. She knew that even though he had been certain about his diagnosis, it he was relieved to have it established and to have some sort of solid proof that he was just as great a doctor as ever.

"Wanna grab some pizza after work? Amelia said she's cool with taking care of the kids."

Meredith tried to stifle an involuntary yawn.

"Oh. I forgot you didn't sleep well. We could take it home instead."

She cringed a little at the casual way he mentioned her sleep patterns and referred to her house as 'home'. It wasn't that she had a problem with Alex in any way, in fact it was quite the opposite. It _was_ his home and she _had_ woken him up with her tossing and turning. She had never even noticed the little offhanded ways he referred to their living situation and closeness. It was just that after her conversation that morning with Maggie, she was hyper aware of the nurses eavesdropping just feet away. She could just sense how this conversation could be misconstrued as evidence of their supposed clandestine romance. "Um, yeah. Let's take it home."

"You okay?"

She nodded. Meredith knew she was being paranoid. It didn't matter what the nurses gossiped about in their spare time. There was no real reason to overthink it. "It's just a small headache."

He eyed her speculatively but seemed to decide to let it slide. "'Kay, Mer. I'll pick it up on the way home. You want the usual?"

"Yeah," she cleared her throat and looking at him. The comfortable way he looked back at her made her suddenly embarrassed of her newly developed fear of hospital gossip, "yeah, the usual."

"Cool. See you tonight," he said before brushing by her and strode down the hallway that led to Peds with a confidence he hadn't shown in a while. She watched as he rounded the corner, his white lab coat billowing behind him.

"Dr. Grey?"

"Yeah?" Meredith blinked at the nurse that was staring at her pointedly over the counter.

"You're being paged."

"Shit…" She grabbed her phone from the counter and ran off to face the next emergency.

* * *

Alex and Meredith were hiding out in her bedroom after being ousted from the living room by Amelia. They were staring at the images flashing on the laptop screen. They weren't really watching anything in particular, just sitting and enjoying the companionship and pizza. The afternoon at work had drawn on for too long for both of them. It was a relief to simply sit in the dark with each other for a while.

Well, that and complain.

"I'm so glad that Kepner is out of town. I don't think I could have stopped myself from strangling her if I had to hear her mention the marvelous time she had stealing my job again."

"Yeah. I wonder how Jackson is handling that."

"Probably not well. You know how they are. They're almost as bad as Owen and Amelia."

Alex rolled his eyes. "I don't know. Sometimes I think they are competing for Most Annoying Couple."

"At least Amelia is working again. I didn't know how I was going to making it through another week of her sulking on my couch."

"Yeah, now she's sulking on the couch and at the hospital," Alex quipped. "Whatever. I'll put up with it. She has her reasons."

Meredith was surprised. Alex usually wasn't quick to defend Amelia's neuroticism. "Are you… sympathizing with Amelia?"

He shrugged. "She's like us. She's fucked up, and sometimes she acts like an asshole. I mean, she's definitely a little crazy, but I kinda get it."

"Hmm…"

"Just trust me. I can't tell you why, but she can sulk on the couch for a little while longer."

"Okay," she conceded with a nod. She turned her attention back to the movie.

On the screen, a statuesque brunette was wearing a slinky gown. It was a clingy satin number with tiny straps that looked like they were designed to slip right off of her shoulders. The woman was being helped out of the passenger's seat of a luxurious car by a man in a tailored tuxedo. His hand rested on the small of her back, guiding her into a glimmering casino.

Meredith sighed and tried to remember the last time she had worn something that was meant to be taken off. It had been a long time. "I need a vacation."

Beside her, Alex took a healthy swig of his beer. "I need to get laid."

She gave an empathetic nod. If there was one thing that she had learned from sharing a bedroom wall with Alex for years, it was that he was used to having a lot of sex. She remembered when that had been her too. If she were being honest, she missed the feeling of wanting and being wanted. She almost felt nostalgic about sneaking into on call rooms and unsuccessfully trying to be quiet in the middle of the night.

"Are you going to wait for Jo to come around?"

He scoffed, "I'll be waiting forever."

"Maybe."

"I heard people talking today. Apparently, she's with DeLuca now."

Meredith didn't hear resentment in his voice, only resignation. For Alex, that was worse. It would be one thing if he were angry, but this quiet acceptance made her feel sick. "It could just be gossip. I mean, I heard that we were together, too."

He chuckled, but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "I _really_ need to get laid," he repeated.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: This chapter is rated M. Let me know if you like the direction this story is taking! I'm almost finished writing the next chapter, but I'd like to know if I'm on the right track.

* * *

 _Dream a Little Dream of Me_

In this dream, she was alone in an elevator. The lights were dim and the doors were closed and it wasn't moving, but she was unconcerned. She simply stood patiently, waiting for the bell to chime her arrival at her destination.

She couldn't tell if minutes or hours had passed, but she had the feeling that she had been standing there for some time. Finally, there was a ring and the doors slid open. On the other side was a familiar figure silhouetted in the dark hallway. She knew who it was. They were supposed to meet here.

He stepped into the elevator and calmly stood beside her. The doors closed slowly, and the elevator started to rise.

"Finally, I've been looking for you everywhere." His voice was low and there was something about it that made her turn to look at him.

His eyes were dark and dilated. She froze, captivated by the unfamiliar expression on his face. Then, his hand reached up and knotted in her hair and she found herself pressed up against the wall of the elevator.

Her heart pounded as she stared back at him. Her stomach tightened when she realized what he wanted. He wanted _her_.

For some reason, the dream version of her wasn't surprised. She had been waiting for him too. She bit her lip as he stared at her. With a jolt, she understood that she needed him to kiss her. She felt the familiar warmth of arousal spreading through her.

It took an agonizing moment for either of them to move.

He pressed his lips against the frantic pulse in her neck and slowly kissed upwards around the curve of her jaw and to the hollow behind her ear. She could hear his ragged breath, and it made her relax into his embrace. His mouth drifted to the corner of her mouth, and finally, after an unbearable moment of anticipation, to her lips. He kissed her slowly, deeply, sensually. Her body seemed to turn to jelly. He smelled musky – like masculinity, like sex. She breathed him in deeply, and cupped her hand behind his neck to draw him even closer.

He spread her thighs and slipped his leg between them. She gasped at the suggestive way his leg brushed against the sensitive skin of her inner thighs. His hand slid up her shirt and skimmed the arc of her breast. His thumb brushed against her nipple and she shuddered.

That's when it changed. She was done with the teasing. Instead of being slow and deliberate, they were suddenly desperate. He tugged her shirt over her head and tossed it unceremoniously. His hands, nimble from years of delicate procedures, unhooked her bra effortlessly and soon it was gone too.

He was entirely too clothed for her liking then. She clutched the fabric of his scrubs and jerked it. He smirked at her impatience. Their pants quickly followed suit, and soon they were naked and pressed together. She moaned into his mouth, flushing with another wave of desire. It had been too long since she'd done this. She wanted to feel every part of him. She needed him inside her, immediately. Her leg wrapped around his waist and her nails raked across his back.

He brought his hand to the apex of her legs. Then, he pulled away just enough to whisper against her lips, "You're mine." His fingers glided over her wetness, sending a wave of pleasure through her core. "You're my person."

" _Alex_ ," she sighed. She pulled him close and desperately pressed her mouth to his again and –

 _Beep beep beep._

He was inside her _and_ –

 _Beep beep beep._

God, she could feel –

 _Beep beep beep._

She lurched upright in her bed with a quiet curse and slapped the snooze button. Beside her, Alex grumbled as he slowly gained consciousness. She stared at him, sprawled groggily on the other side of the bed, and with a jolt of panicked realization she jumped out of bed and shot into the bathroom.

She quickly closed the door behind her, careful not to slam it, and flicked on the light. She breathed heavily as she leaned against the porcelain edge of the sink and stared into her reflection.

The harsh bathroom light seemed to highlight the dark smudges under her wildly glinting eyes. Her cheeks and chest were flushed. "What the fuck," she hissed under her breath. There she was, by all appearances the same person she was the day before, except today she was implausibly, undeniably very turned on by a sex dream about Alex fucking Karev.

" _You're my person."_

She shuddered, thinking back to the husky way Dream Alex had whispered that. That wasn't helping her situation.

"It was just a dream," she mouthed at her reflection, shaking her head. With trembling hands, she twisted the faucet and splashed her face with some cold water. "Just synapses misfiring. Just a really inappropriate dream."

 _A really, really hot dream_. She winced and pushed away from the sink. She hastily turned on the shower and striped off her ratty old pajamas. She was trying very hard not to think about why she was so aroused.

The water was frigid when she got in. She stood shivering under the stream of water for a few minutes while the water warmed up, carefully dodging flashes of images and sensations from her dream. She kept on thinking of topics to distract herself, but she kept on coming back to the feeling of skin against skin, sucking and biting and kissing and…

 _And fuck it._

Her hand drifted lower, grazing her stomach and her hip. Then, her fingers reached her swollen clit. She bit back a groan as a wave of pleasure crashed over her. Just as she found a rhythm, there was a knock on the door.

"Hey, Mer. I need to shave."

"Mmmm…" She tried to muffle the moan, but it somehow escaped.

Apparently, this sounded like an invitation to come in. The door opened and Meredith froze in place. She stopped her fingers' frantic movement and gripped her hands against the tiles of the shower, clenching her eyes shut.

 _What the hell am I doing?_ She shook her head, trying to clear it. "It's just electrical impulses," she whispered to herself.

"What was that?" he asked. The foggy shape of his figure turned to look at her.

"Nothing. Sorry. Trying to remember something."

"Oh," he responded. Then, after a couple beats of silence, "Hey, when do you get off?"

She choked on a laugh. He asked this every day, but today it took on a decidedly different meaning.

"I -" she paused, swallowing back a giggle, "it depends on my last colectomy." _Colectomies! Now that is unsexy._ The thought of removing the infected tissue of a colon allowed her an opportunity to properly collect herself. "Around six, I think."

"'Kay. Remember that Sophia's visiting Arizona and she planned a birthday party. Zola's invited."

"Right…"

"Are you gonna come?"

She for a moment, she thought she really would start laughing. She tilted her head back to stare fixedly at a crack in the ceiling, pressing her lips together to stop herself from cackling with laughter. After a moment, she answered. "Definitely."


End file.
